Love marriages are like fairy tales, they just seem so much right-a-thing-to-do. Two individuals meet, fall in love, spend some time together (can stretch from days to years) and on basis of their own judgement, tie the knot.
Makes perfect sense.
Or so I thought.
A friend of mine who is in a love marriage recently told me that there is no better a marriage than an arranged marriage. coming from her, this was surprising. On further prodding from me, she told me the reason behind this.
She said that while she was happy to have found the guy she loves and its great to have settled down with him. There is an increased responsibility on both of them to make the marriage a success, bcoz unlike an arranged marriage, here they have no one to blame if it goes sour.
The rationale is that while parents reluctantly do give their acceptance towards a love marriage these days, it comes with a clear clause. "Do not come back to us if it doesn’t work".
An arranged marriage, on the other hand, is like baptism by fire. Two strangers meet via a third party (relatives, matrimonials etc.) get very limited opportunities to talk and figure each other out, and then pronounce their verdict.
One of my friends recently had an arranged marriage, he and his lady went out to CCD for two hours n talked, came back home to their families, and said yes!. Freaks me out, hell, I cant even become friends with someone in two hours. Let alone going the matrimony way. I have, since that time, kept on wondering, what would you possibly know about a person in two hours to entrust yourself for your life??
But then arranged marriages are like stock markets. you enter at a high risk, figure out your way, invest (through your emotions, hell… you invest your life!!!) and wait for the boom. If it blooms, its beautiful, and if the bubble bursts.. well… you have your folks to shout back and say "this was your choice!!"
Another point here is that arranged marriage is an unexplored territory. You enter into it without knowing whats in store for you.. and once you are in it, you explore… you figure out the likes, dislikes, the comforts of your spouse.
My friends who have gotten into love marriages say that while marriage is the natural step to take once in love, there is something missing all the time, which only arranged marriage can provide.
What he essentially meant was that in he knew everything that was there to be known about his girl before they went the matrimony way, so marriage was only a way to solemnize their relationship… he still says that marriage has not changed anything in their relationship.. there is very little excitement vis-à-vis arranged marriage.
I know.. being in love is beautiful… but u will (god willing) fall in love in an arranged marriage too.. sooner or later.. what say?
I am wondering why I am saying all this… I still have time :).. just sharing some thoughts with u all..
So given a choice… what will you go for?